She story 1

She was a normal gal. Extremely so. Only thing that was special was she was very popular. Every one was her friend for sure. only no one noticed her much. Its hard to explain. If she isnt there the group will miss her terribly but if she is there ppl tend to forget her.

He was extremely charming. Casanova types. Everyone liked him to be around. However, he was the most gossiped about guy.

She didnt try to be his friend. He wasnt interested in her. He liked her friend. her friend was cute. they.... she n her friend were mysterious always keeping to themselves. She still talked to everyone. Her friend didnt evidently was a challenge. especially for the casanova types.

He approached her. She didnt think much. They thought he was handsome but spoilt. not worth their attention. Then her friend left college and she was all alone. She didnt know how to approach the already made friends! groups were already formed......

She stayed alone. He sensed the loneliness in her? We don't know his thoughts so won't talk abt it. He approcahed her. First for a movie. Always wid a group . She agreed once. Had awesome fun. The group was funny and very very njoyable. That evening he and she returned in train. It tended to be empty. She and he both were hanging on the train. Most of us who have some time or the other hung on the train knows how it feels. The rush of air....

They accidentaly touched. An electric current rush through her. She didnt know what to think abt it. It was a special and new territory. She was scared. She asked him to be her 'brother', he didnt like the idea. He asked why. What could she say?

She said coz she wants to be special.. he ahs soo many friends as girls.. she wanted a special place. He agreed. It was romantic... dinner in a small hotel. No one there to eat but them. He asked her to dance! She was so self conscious but she complied.....

He came to leave her till the door. Her friends were worried abt her disappearing act. It was the first time. after that they got used to it. You are right, the whirl of outings and movies started. everytime they togather. She took pains to never repeat that incident again. SLowly things became so normal that she forgot to be cautious. Tempting fate? Who can say?

They started hanging togather after college. Everyone tagged them togather. They insisted they are brothers n sisters. Well meaning friend told ' He is not a nice guy.' She said I know he is a waste of life. Who knows him better than me? FOr u see they had grown real close. She didnt know when or how only that they had. They had this special place away from eveyone. A special niche which only they knew a secret. They had spent many a evenings sitting there. Not talking much too. Just relaxing. She cherished these moments. She knew even then that he wud always have that special place in her heart which no one will replace....

Such wonderful relation cannot last long.. Can it? It didnt. He got some papers back and had to leave her behind or rather she moved ahead in studies and he in life. They lost touch. She tried hard to keep it. Though it was no longer possible. Slowly she started wrapping herself inside. She cudnt reach him anymore if physically she did than emotionally didnt. He ws coiled inside...

She didnt know it how much until one day he raged.. how much u want? I already tell u soo much. She had become demanding.. things had changed. he had, Proably she had too. If she hadnt she did now. Their relation dropped rapidly. Until they hardly called.

It was her last sem. PL's were going on. She knew she is going to shift places. Shift cities. If she didnt meet him now n say goodbye she never would!

She called him.....

An excerpt from her diary...

To be contd....

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29 Apr 2005

Hello Diary,

I called him again. When his phone was ringing I felt
anticipation running through my body. Some kind of electricity coursing through every part of my body. Even my toes were tingling. I was aware of every part of
my body as I was never before. How could this happen? I wasn't even talking to him. The phone was just ringing!

How am I going to meet him when I feel such strong emotions just by anticipating his call? How am I ever going to say good bye? Am I in love? If yes, then why is this feeling not sustaining me? Why don't I feel happy about it? Isnt love a happy feeling? I am contradictory! How can I call him my brother when I am in love? And there is this possiblity that he doesnt even like me as
much. God please!!!

Let him love me. I want someone in my life so very much. I dont even want any commitments. I wud never push him for anything. Even if he dumps me its okay. I wanna feel how it feels to be his love. To be loved as if i am the only one... Jhoota hi sahi......

I want to feel how it would be to be in his arms by his liking. To be kissed by him..just to feel him by my side. So close that no one can come between us. I want to see love in his eyes. Drown in hsi wonderful eyes.... Eyes
that see through your soul.. Pools of shadows that dont let out anything but engulf everything. I want to cook for him, wash his clothes. I want to listen to his problems ease away his tensions. When he is tired I want to mop his brows.I want to be with him in every step of his. Success and failure both alike if not as his mate then as his friend...

God I cannot say good bye to him. not him!! Cannot leave him. I want to be part of his life even as a worthless waste. I know i will compromise ego for him. Please god save me from this bottomless pit called as love....

Oh what wretch i am!!! Instead of concentrating on studies i am talking all rubbish abt him! I guess everyone has soft spot a weakness in their armor.. I guess he is for me. Even with all his shortcomings his lies he is still welcome if only he stays with me! if only.........

oh god why did you made me love him??? he wudnt love me ever I know. I have seen in his eyes. He doesnt love me i know god why???

The excerpt is complete.
........................................... to be contd

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30 April 2005

Hello again,

I tried to call him so much today. His phone was ringing all day and no one is picking up...It is so frustrating. Now that I ahve decided to talk to
him, he seems so faaar.. I have decided I will call him just once that is final.

I wonder will he come tomorrow as promised? I fervently wish so. I want him to come. I will wait impatiently though.

What if he doesnt come? God don't let it be so.I know I would never call him again if he doesnt come today. I wouldnt say good bye to him and I would leave . Please lord dont let this happen.

I accept i love him. I really do. I have emotions so strong that I wonder how i was ever so blind? What if he is trying to avoid me? I can do nothing abt it I got to bear it if that is to be. Only time can tell.................

1st May 2005

He didnt come. Surprisingly my life didnt stop. The day was as usual.Whats with me? why don't I feel normal feelings? Its as if I never loved him. Everything back to normal. Is this truth of what I felt yesterday is truth?

I dont know what to make of my feelings. I called him up. We talked. Some how it wasnt the same. I ddint feel like talking at all. I was anticipating to feel the same rush again. I wanted to catch that rush again.It was such an wonderful experience sadly it didnt come. It was anticlimatic. The chat was....

What to do? What to feel? Ia m confused

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She wanted him there when she needed him. He wasnt there. she was hurt but still understanding. Initially she hurt but later thought he may have had his own problems. But she had been there for him she wanted to him to be there. Not help her juss listen to her. Still she was ready to forgive but he didnt reach
out to her! didnt care to.

Life goes on. hers did too. She left the city made new friends new life. Forgot him as much as it is realistically possible. She had once gone to meet her friends, hoping furatively to meet him. She had come back a changed person. A job and right kinda friends give a certain kind of confidence. She felt n exhuded confidence and sophistication. She met him. How joyous she was but he didnt have time for her then. He wanted her to wait. But she had done with waiting for him. So many times he would be late or not turn up she waited now she wont. She had moved on you see. She left (Ego hath its own fall).

A year went by. She had a bf now. She was finally happy. One fine day she got a misscall from her ole city. She knew one of her friends r playing mischief so she called back. and it was him. He called her. He missed her. She was confused by the feelings she was feeling. Hadnt she moved on? Isnt she in a relation? this feeling she is feeling is just for a ole friend who is close. She cant feel the same again. She cant let herself he would leave her again. This semblance of normality that she had painstakingly created would be lost.

Still she talked to him. Chatted online. told him about her newly found love. She imagined she detected a tinge of jealously. She was pleased enough to want to clear all the cowwebs in their realtionship and start anew. He seemed willing too. She detected some feelings. Enogh feelings to miss her. She was in 7th heaven! Was this her illusion? She didnt know. She tole him about that few dayz when she felt she was in love. Now she is sure she isnt. She has a guy who would be with her for always.

She realised whoever be in her life there was this special corner where he will rule always. He may not be in her life for long he will come back and they will have same special relation coz she has that special place saved up for him. She accepted with a pain in the heart coz she knew she doesnt mean as much to him. He can easy leave her

And thats wat he did. they were again lost in the murky water of time. they lost contact. She was left stranded again like always.

What happened after that? I leave that to the readers imagination. Probably he retured. probably he didnt and she waited all life probably she didnt who knows? only time will tell

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